Monday, February 6, 2012

Things People Say...

     Whenever we leave the house, we are approached by many people.  A quad stroller, or two twin strollers,  is an unusual sight.  People are naturally curious.  I am a member of our local twin’s club and other Moms report the same phenomenon.  There are different responses to the countless questions.  Some find it frustrating whereas others are not bothered. 
     I am in the latter group.  If I had a miniature pony and took him for a walk down city streets, I should not be surprised by people’s curiosity.    If I found it offensive to be approached, I would be cranky every time we went out.  I am so grateful to have these babies that I do not mind at all if people want to see them.  I have had many nice conversations with people who love babies.  I can’t complain about nice people who like to talk about babies. 

     From time to time, I will do a post about the things people say.  There are the common things such as, are they quads?  Are they from the same family?  Did you do that in-vitro thing?  Then, there are the unusual comments and questions.   I will share two of my favorites.
     The first is complements of a man at a store where we were buying baby supplies.  He had more of a comment than a question.  This man was pretty flabbergasted by the sheer quantity of babies and said, “Well, at least you get all the free diapers and stuff.”  I quickly corrected him and told him that we did not.  He seemed surprised by this.  After all, on Oprah, and other shows, all the Moms of high order multiples get amazing gifts such as free diapers for a year or a gift card to cover all their expenses for the first year or more.
     He must have thought that when you are in the hospital and the births are confirmed, you get on a special list, like winning the lottery.  We did win the baby lottery which is better than free diapers for a year.   But, alas, there is no special list wherein parents of multiples are supplied with all their babies’ needs.  That would be nice…but, no.  The man went on with his shopping, a bit disillusioned that what he saw on T.V. did not match up with his real life meeting with multiples.
     The next winning comment came from a woman who approached us as we were walking along admiring the scenery at a local park.  She looked me up and down, as people often do, wondering how I look so thin after carrying quadruplets.  People inspect my stomach for signs of sagging skin, like what was shown on an episode of Jon and Kate plus Eight.  She said, “You are so thin!  Did you have a vaginal birth?”  How often do you approach a complete stranger and use the word “vaginal?”  My answer is never.  This took me by surprise.  I suppose I could have told her ‘yes’ and had her imagining a quadruplet vaginal birth, but I told her ‘no.’
     Do you have any stories of things people have said to you?  As always, comments are welcome.



lauren said...

This just made me laugh! It always amazes me what people will say to strangers, like if you wouldn't say it to family do not say it to someone you do not know! I do not have multiples but during my last pregnancy I was all belly and this woman said Oh looks like someone is having twins, so I said nope just one she then went on to insist she was right and was NEVER wrong. I just laughed and the cashier was staring at her like she had lost her mind. Thanks for the laugh!

Multiples Mom said...

Hi Lauren. You just made me laugh too! That is so inappropriate.
She clearly never thought about how that might make you feel! Thank you for sharing that : 0 ).

Kim said...

Oh my good god, do we get comments! I wrote a similar post and am absolutely astounded by the personal questions you get from TOTAL STRANGERS! (Especially old ladies!) I can never get over how many people ask about my lady parts or if we went through IVF, both very personal things meant to be kept personal, at least from strangers! Love your blog! Your family is beautiful and I will definitely be back! Thanks for stopping by mine! I'm going to add you to my Faves list!
My Twin*tastic Life

Multiples Mom said...

Thank you Kim. Your comment made me : 0 ). I enjoyed looking at your blog and will be back too.

If you would like to check out Kim's blog, here is a link:

Carolina P. said...

I just love this quote: "I am so grateful to have these babies that I do not mind at all if people want to see them"
You have such a beatiful family, God bless you all!!

Multiples Mom said...

Thank you Carolina. Have a wonderful weekend.

: 0 ) Theresa

Katie Steiner said...

Haha well I have a question (I promise it does NOT include the word "vaginal"): Where did you find that stroller? I don't have quads, but as I have a 2-year-old and 3-year-old and am expecting twins, I'm trying to figure out what to do about a stroller. My 3-year-old is extremely impulsive and I don't trust myself to be able to catch her should she run off.

Multiples Mom said...

Hi Katie.

We got that stroller on Craig's List. I do not think they make it any more because I have never been able to find it online. We also got a Foundations Quad stroller which is the most popular (if not the only) quad stroller with the same set up (two in front and two in back). You can often find them used on Craig's List or new online. You can also find used ones at local consignment sales or on the MOST (Mothers of Super Twins) forum which has one section on things for sale.

I have never seen any other quad strollers besides these two that come two by two. The others that I've seen are all tandem (one by one in a long line of four) and are huge (i.e. the Runabout) and require a hitch for your car.

Congratulations on your pregnancy with twins. The Foundations might be a bit small for your three year old. I would suggest trying one out with your two and three year old at a consignment sale. One other possibility is to look for a triple stroller that has a place for a fourth child to stand in back. Good luck. Congrats again!

: 0 ) Theresa

Jessica B said...

I found you from the UBP14. I have b/g twins and I'm amazed at the comments. I had one man argue with me that my b/g twins were identical even though I insisted they couldn't possibly be. Now that my kids are older there is more of a height difference and people seem more surprise that they are twins. :)

Theresa A said...

Hi Jessica.

That is funny. In my multiples club there are other Mamas of b/g twins that have had the same comment. Clearly, boys and girls cannot be identical. It is funny how common that misconception is though. Thanks for coming by. I will head over and check out your blog.

: 0 ) Theresa

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